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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Babies With Laser Eyes: Nadir Or Gutter Of Web Culture? [Rant]

Babies With Laser Eyes: Nadir Or Gutter Of Web Culture? [Rant]: "

A new and totally inexplicable meme is sweeping the internet. Mutant infants with laser vision. Are these tots the harbingers of a new dark age, or a sign that culture is now 100% intellectually bankrupt? Let us contemplate.


It's easy to understand the appeal of a baby with laser eyes - its adorable mini-human shenanigans and fatal laser gaze represent our human needs for familial affection and wanton violence. Just as Cain smashed his brother with a stone, we too secretly wish to return to our previous pint-size, half-morlock incarnations in which no adult can deny our whims and no other siblings can siphon our parents' affections. Why? Because we'd be goddamn babies with goddamn laser eyes, that's why.


Will Babies With Laser Eyes be a force of evil or of mega-extreme evil? We honestly cannot say. If this remains a charming little meme, then our lives may be enriched with a small dose of awful. But if this meme balloons into t-shirts, Macy's Thanksgiving floats, and Baby Genius-like films (but with shittier CGI), then we as a society are the babies, awash in our own feculence, and our appetites are the laser eyes, burning our souls out from the inside.


[via Babies with Laser Eyes]










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